you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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