Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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