This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
