Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Can I color on your dick again?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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