guys are only as good as the porn they watch
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
