I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
