If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
