U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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