Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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