We need to rekindle our bromance
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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