If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
