I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
