get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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