He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
