So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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