How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
