You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
