don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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