That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
