I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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