saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
