I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
