There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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