Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The beer is more important than you right now.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The power of my boobs compel you
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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