well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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