I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
