Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
