All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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