make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
where are you?
Hypothermia
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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