there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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