thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
