I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
