yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
