OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
