This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
