I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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