So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
