Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
