Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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