my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
