Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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