I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
