she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
