I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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