i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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