I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
