you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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