why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
