you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
