fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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