I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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