Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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