she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
