yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
