I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
